The Intimacy of Loss

I have found that the result of pushing past one’s comfort opens the door to conversations about subjects that are unspoken of, which is how today I can share with you one of my most beautiful projects- The Intimacy of Loss. Before this session I prayed for God’s guidance, transparency, understanding, and for him to take the lead as I stepped into the most vulnerable and difficult circumstances I have ever photographed. I’m still not sure I could have fully prepared myself mentally or emotionally for what I was stepping into, but I trusted God. With every click I began to question my ability to convey this story right, until I realized the story was telling itself and it was simply allowing me to capture it. I watched behind my lens as the Pippin family tore down in front of me their barrier of strength and allowed themselves to feel love and loss.

I watched the strength of unity overcome the heaviness of weakness and darkness. I heard the joy of laughter drain out the cries of pain and it was in these moments that I understood the faith of trusting God when it hurts but more importantly when it doesn’t make any sense.

One of the most memorable things I heard Mike say while discussing the future was “I hope I’m around to see it all. I don’t think I will be, but I’ll be looking from up there,” and as I edited footage of him saying these exact words I couldn’t help but replay this conversation over and over. The sureness that Mike had that he would soon be joining his Heavenly Father and eternal body overwhelmed my spirit with pain for the life he was leaving behind, those he was leaving who call him son, husband, brother, dad, grandfather, but also with a peace that he was finally reaching the finish line to a race well fought. When I was younger I was told that when it rains after someone passes it’s a sign they have safely and happily made it to Heaven, and as the rain danced on my window this morning I smiled knowing Mike was dancing along with it.

James "Mike" Michal Pippin

December 26, 1956 - March 28, 2019

From the bottom of my heart, to every single member of the Pippin family, I thank you.

“Psalm 23:4-
Even when I walk through the dark valley of death, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.”

The valley of the shadow of death holds no darkness for the child of God. There must be light, or else there could be no shadow. Jesus is the light. He has overcome death. ”

— Dwight L. Moody

The Journey is the Destination

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If you are anything like me then it is a lot harder traveling by plane than driving your own car for one specific reason- you are completely and totally out of control. You have to trust one hundred percent, without a doubt, that a stranger is equipped with everything they need to safely get you from point A to B, and that the aircraft has been properly fueled, inspected, and is ready for takeoff.

I’ve recently come to the realization that a relationship with God is a lot like being a passenger on an airplane. It is a lot of uncertainty at times, a lot of trusting, and a lot more of learning that you aren’t the pilot in this flight of life, which means you aren’t the one in control.

If you travel frequently, or have more than once, you know that some flights are short and sweet, some may get delayed or take hours, others may just get canceled and rescheduled. The point is in the end you will eventually get there somehow, someway, even if it isn’t the way you planned, which is exactly how it is with God.

Sometimes I feel like the flight I’m riding on with God is far longer than I expected, or that maybe we got stuck on the terminal and have yet to take off. Other days I just feel like my flight has been completely cancelled and I’ll never get to where He has planned for me. In the process of waiting, flying, and even being in uncomfortable seats or situations you won’t always enjoy, it becomes so easy to question, “What if I never make it? What if my plane goes down, or something awful happens and I never get to where I’m going? What if my flight gets delayed or canceled and I’m stuck here forever?” And as terrible and real as these thoughts are we don’t have to be afraid of these things with Him. We can always trust that God is definitely, without a doubt, one hundred percent, fully equipped and capable to get us to where He promises to take us.

As I was recently flying I stared out the window at an ocean that was infinite, and in that moment I heard God whisper, “I love you more than that, far more than your eyes could ever see and far more than your mind could ever comprehend.”

A rainbow reflected back at me when we finally made it above land, and in that moment I was certain God was reminding me that no matter where we end up together that He is flying my plane safely and is in control.

He is the pilot waiting to greet me when we land. He is the neighbor riding next to me that I can talk to if I get lonely or rest my head on if I grow weary. He is the flight attendant who is providing me with all I need, and will ever need, during our trip and long after we’ve arrived.

- Love, C.

“Put Jesus Christ in the driver’s seat of your life and take your hands off of the steering wheel. Don’t be afraid; nothing under His control can ever be out of control.”

— Rick Warren "The Purpose Driven Life"